Pass [on] The Porn Please

no_porn_mantasticrevivalFor some time now I have felt compelled to discuss the topic of pornography in this forum. To say that I’ve resisted a full on exploration and article on the topic would be an understatement. The thing I absolutely don’t want to write about seems to be the thing that I absolutely must write about. In fact, I find myself unable to write on any of the other topics that would be helpful to the cause of authentic masculinity while this unfinished business sits festering on my plate.   Over the past forty-five days, all of the time I typically allocate to writing has been directed towards this topic. I have compiled over one hundred pages of research and am still in the process of decoding it. Some of the findings have caused me such a deep and great sadness that I have, at times, found myself in a hopeless malaise for days on end. Other findings on the topic have made me feel as if I would be physically ill were I to keep reading. This is undoubtedly a sordid business and believe me, If I had a choice, if I could pull myself to write anything else … anything at all, I would leave this to another and get back to our journey of exploring what it means to be a real man. Dealing with this business of porn is absolutely pivotal and the time has come.

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Must Reads for Dads

must-readAs promised, here are the Mantastic Must Reads for Dads!  The first two are for parents in general, then three for dads of daughters, and two for dads of sons.  If you have boys and girls, like me, then you’ve got some reading to do.  When I decided to get serious about being an engaged father (read this post if you haven’t and this one while you’re at it), I churned thru every book I could find, some good, some not so much; however, these made the list for sure.

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Low “T”

Ever wonder why there is a men’s Low “T” clinic on every corner?  Could it be a result of the systematic emasculation of men in our society?  It’s not just an all out societal attack on all things manly, it’s biological as well.  Everything from the crap posted on, which couldn’t be more wrong for a man’s diet, all the way to the statins that too many guys take to lower borderline cholesterol.  In case you didn’t know it, Testosterone is made from cholesterol.  Eat like Michelle Obama and the USDA tells you to and you’ll need to get those man boobs fitted for a bra pretty soon.  Grain and wheat have been linked to higher estrogen levels, which is great if you are a lady, but none for me thanks.  Oh and you need monounsaturated fats from things like avocados, nuts, and olive oil.  Watch out for flax and soy, both of which contain estrogenic isoflavones that put the kibosh on “T” production.  Dudes need to really limit soy and flax! Eat protein, eggs (yolks and all), broccoli, cabbage, or cauliflower.  Drink more milk.  Supplement with Maca and ZMA (look this stuff up).  Work out so hard that you sweat thru your shirt AT LEAST 4 times per week and SLEEP.  Testosterone is our jet fuel, and your body will make it all by itself if you work it, feed it, and rest it … Testosternone is made while you sleep.  I’m no doctor, and I would tell you to check with your’s first, but I think that will backfire on you.  Educate yourself first, then talk to your doctor.  And whatever you do, don’t sign up for synthetic testosterone replacement … I predict within a few years, this whole notion will be debunked like snake oil.

Someday … there will be enough of us to make a difference


I saw a commercial on television yesterday that made my point from my prior post even stronger.  In this commercial, an AT&T Business Solutions saleswoman goes head to head with four smart and capable business women who are accompanied by their male counterpart who is portrayed as a spineless doofus not even sure how to conduct himself in public without looking first to the ladies for guidance.  This is how the advertising executives at AT&T have chosen to portray men.  Read to the end, then click on the screen shot above, or here, watch the video and see what you think.

Right now, our numbers are small, the revival is just beginning … but someday, and this is why I am so committed to this, we will be in a position to rally and react to these negative portrayals.  Someday … there will be enough of us to make a difference.

For now, how many of us, I wonder, have influence over mobile spending in our own families and businesses.  How many of us are strong, wise, and capable businessmen who look nothing like the weak doofusman AT&T has portrayed here?  I, for one, am and do!  In fact, one company I sold to another company had an AT&T account and the new parent company has Sprint.  I’ve been pushing back on the migration of the AT&T lines to Sprint for almost a year now, but somehow I think I’ll go ahead and fast forward that starting Monday.  My plan, prior to seeing this commercial, was to request that the new parent company have a competitive look at AT&T versus Sprint with a hope that both companies would consolidate on AT&T.  That won’t be happening now.  Also, I happen to be in a position to coach and advise entrepreneurs as they launch new tech businesses in my town.  Let’s just say that AT&T will be the last choice for any recommendations I make as I work with the tech leaders of tomorrow in the setting up of their companies.  Lastly, a link to this blog will be sent to AT&T corporate PR for blogger relations (the email is in case you want to join me) as well as the local AT&T rep who will be losing the business.

Realistically, right now, we are just a few hundred in numbers and this won’t make much of a difference.  My actions will cost AT&T just a few thousand dollars a month … trust me, they won’t even notice.  But humor me for a moment, while I dream of the day when there is ten-thousand of us and we collectively rally against companies who portray us this way.  Humor me, or dare to dream with me, about a day when some executive at some company says, “guys, pull that ad … we starting to get e-mails from those crazy guys again.”  Dare to just dream with me, or better yet, join with me.  Send an e-mail to as many like minded friends as you can think of, forward this post, and ask them to follow the blog and join with us.